To Be Without Time. A Look Into Existential Theory.
1:39 AM on Saturday the 16th of August 2008 I hit what I call Creative Hour. Essentially, if I deprive myself of an amount of sleep and just let myself simply drift across my thoughts as I do whatever it is I happen to be doing at that moment (tonight I was listening to instrumental/trance music while reading up on tech blogs) I hit this point where if I have a pen and paper and can just start to write and usually can reach a fairly logical conclusion to an internal discussion that is brought out by the pen by the end of my writing. Tonight's entry was fairly... perplexing. I reread it and found a good deal of truth and inspiration in it. Here is what I wrote.
I hit this wall and keep pushing through. Vibrating like the Flash. Making my way pass the impassable structure of a googleplex of atoms in a solid crystalline structure keeping me from what is beyond/within. As my individual atoms awaken to conscientiousness they find faults in the wall and leak through. I being to disappear. I begin to cease. Then, nearly as fast as it began, I cease to begin. In a moment long than an age of man, I scaled the highest peak of human accomplishment, only to find a consuming flame burning eternally bright at the top. This Earth-bound star beacons me forward along a path it has awaited for me to walk since it was, is, and will be. For here there is no time. Only distance. You simply are. The journy is merely a destination awaiting to be reached. As is all in this life, it would seem futile, except for the constant reminder that even in the stillness, we, humanity, individuals, atoms bound by chemical bonds, are always in motion. This is inescapable. And yet completely desirable. To simply be is what we already are. Time has no meaning but to define a moment of who you were, are or will be. But the past Were's are not Are's. As are Are's not Will Be's. And Will Be's are simply To Become's. But "all" are the same. The Are's are made of Were's. Will Be's are hinted at by Are's. And in the scheme of things, we exist. In one form or another. Were's, Are's, or Will Be's. This earth was made for Will Be's, is inhabited by Were's, and is owned by Are's. And when you simply Are, you know who you are. When you Were, you can not Are, and you can never Will Be. But the Will Be's were and are to come and will be Are's when eternity comes.
I hit this wall and keep pushing through. Vibrating like the Flash. Making my way pass the impassable structure of a googleplex of atoms in a solid crystalline structure keeping me from what is beyond/within. As my individual atoms awaken to conscientiousness they find faults in the wall and leak through. I being to disappear. I begin to cease. Then, nearly as fast as it began, I cease to begin. In a moment long than an age of man, I scaled the highest peak of human accomplishment, only to find a consuming flame burning eternally bright at the top. This Earth-bound star beacons me forward along a path it has awaited for me to walk since it was, is, and will be. For here there is no time. Only distance. You simply are. The journy is merely a destination awaiting to be reached. As is all in this life, it would seem futile, except for the constant reminder that even in the stillness, we, humanity, individuals, atoms bound by chemical bonds, are always in motion. This is inescapable. And yet completely desirable. To simply be is what we already are. Time has no meaning but to define a moment of who you were, are or will be. But the past Were's are not Are's. As are Are's not Will Be's. And Will Be's are simply To Become's. But "all" are the same. The Are's are made of Were's. Will Be's are hinted at by Are's. And in the scheme of things, we exist. In one form or another. Were's, Are's, or Will Be's. This earth was made for Will Be's, is inhabited by Were's, and is owned by Are's. And when you simply Are, you know who you are. When you Were, you can not Are, and you can never Will Be. But the Will Be's were and are to come and will be Are's when eternity comes.
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