A Midnight Prayer

A prayer I wrote to God last night around 11 PM-12 PM:

Dear God,

As a servant sits here, as a believer, a follower of your word, I cry out to you without words. I scream with silence. I yell out to hear the only sound is that of my own frightened heart. I can't feel you right now. I know you're there. I put my faith into you. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt you will save me if I were to die in tonight. I would welcome that joy right now. To be swept away, up to you and to have that reassurance. I give you all my faith, now work in my life. If I am to be a Job, I fear I will fail you. If you aren't there, I don't want to go. I am scared to death Lord. You aren't in my school. I can't see you, feel you, I don't know that you are there. I want to bring a flame to Stillwater and set it on fire for you, but right now I am afraid of the dark. I am so glad that you gave the Ballston Spa kids each other. I am like a mouse among a crowd of cats. God I desperately need a sign for reassurance. Give me anything that will scream to me, "Paul, this is God. I want you to burn up your school with passion for me. Every fire starts with a spark. You have an advantage, you are already in flames for for me. Now stop covering up that fire and burn bright as can be for others to see. Do not be ashamed of what you have been called and created to do. Just do it, that is your calling, to do what ever I ask of you. Serve and you will be served. Just do it for me. Now." Lord speak to me like that. Grab my face and scream in it. I will do it. Lord you are all I have to offer this world. Lets give you to everyone. I pray this prayer for every brother and sister in Christ in your reach. I pray for Janelle, Allison, Sam, Lauryne, Shannon, Alicia, Kristie, Vivian, Jess, Katie, Ryan, Jamie, Mrs. Hench, Cherish, Caroline, Sarah, and all my sisters in your name. For all my brothers; James, Jon, Devin, Zach, Dave, Will, Jake, Jordan, Karl, Will, Joe, Jon, Brian, Sammy, and Gabe. Pour gasoline on us and ignite that match. I want us to be the brightest light this world has even seen burning for you. That is my hearts desire. Now work it through us I beg of you Lord. I know you will. I love you with all the pieces of my heart that you may heal them.